Monday, April 02, 2007
YO YO YO ... Back from my M.I.A streak ... Hahaz .. In this tym of M.I.A ... It really happened alot of things ... Some that troubled miex ; some that impacted on miex ... And some that changed my entire life 360 degrees ... In this tym ... My fire toward God is rocky; instable ... Somemore I feel lyk quittin' ... But there is tis feelin' that run through my heart is that i mus and cannot leave church ... I dunno why but there is really tis strong feelin' that stop miex from quittin' ... It is so AMAZING ... Since i decided not to leave , i wanna be veri committed to church , serve more to God ... de One tat introduced love to miex ... Allowing miex to feel veri loved ... I pick on two ministries to serve in .. Sound and Heart Symphony , an orchestra , ... I wanna to glorify God ... Howeva .. It proved not so likewise ... Becoz I am always so busy with the matters currently burning my hands ... Chinese Orchestra ... Study .. A lot to list ... I began to get questioned by ppl if my commitment is there ... Honestly ... I can hardly answer tis question ... It realli struck miex hard on tat ... For Sound .. I can feel tat i am not progressin' as much as others ... I almost can feel tat i am lagging down the whole ministries .. Recently .. I miss Zone F service ... To help out de Sound ministries ... But becoz of certain reason .. I could not make it on tym ... Ppl may not hold onto it ... But i can't ... I keep on blamin' myself ... My self-blaming grew worse when I can not keep on pace with de training with Heart ... I feel a veri heavy burden clingin on miex ... I realli dunno wad to do .. Fortunately ... Lord realli provide miex wif answers ... There is one tym where i get stuck btwn two matters .. CO and Heart ... But God insisted miex to stay in church to attend Heart ... I immediately follow ... Durin Heart .. I been thinkin a lot of conseqeunces i will face tmr bout missing CO ... Howeva .. There is a calm feelin insde miex.. telling miex to calm down and grew faith in Him tat everything will turn out well .. Indeed it was ... How Great is God ... Therefore .. All i can say .. is tat no matter wad happens .. no thing or Mortal human can stop miex from grewing faith in Him , loved Him ... And glorified Him ... I will stay strong in both my ministries and WILL EVENTUALLY GREW CLOSER TO GOD ... Amen to tat .. Hahaz


called for an angel at 4:06 AM

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